Coping With a Partner's Asperger's Syndrome - Autism Center - Everyday Health
Maxine Aston counsels couples with Asperger Syndrome. What strategies would you suggest that the couple try to resolve their issues? when one becomes aware that one partner in the relationship is affected by Asperger syndrome. They are unable to understand that it will cause significant problems for you and for the relationship, so they see no reason to tell you. There are many classes. As with many others with Asperger's, I feel emotion, and feel them lead to ongoing challenges in personal relationships, both big and small.
How would you know? The person may be able to identify basic emotions, such as intense anger, sadness or happiness yet lack an understanding of more subtle expressions of emotions such as confusion, jealousy or worry. A person is diagnosed based on the signs and symptoms he or she has rather than the results of a specific laboratory or other type of test.
The assessment process itself is time consuming and it can be costly.
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Examples of actual statements are: I find it difficult to imagine what it would be like to be someone else. I miss my best friends or family when we are apart for a long time.
It is difficult for me to understand how other people are feeling when we are talking. I feel very comfortable with dating or being in social situations with others. The questionnaires and scales for adults are as follows, in alphabetical order: To do that, an experienced professional needs investigate two things: Personal History Diagnoses are most valid and accurate when they are based on multiple sources of information.
It is often the case that a person seeking an evaluation does not have any documentation, formal or informal, that is relevant to the assessment process. That is not an insurmountable problem. It helps when that evidence is available but it is not critical.
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The first meeting covers general facts about the person, particular those relating to his or her present life. I am interested in how the person gets along at work and his or her work performance, how the person manages daily living, what initiative the person takes in planning and achieving life goals, and how satisfied the person is with his or her life. Hence a thorough understanding of early social, emotional, family, academic and behavioral experiences are essential to the diagnostic process.
The third and final meeting is a time to clarify questions that were not completely answered in the previous meetings, gather additional information and raise additional questions that have emerged from the information collected so far.
When everything has been addressed to the extent allowed in this timeframe, the final part of the clinical interview is the presentation of my findings. Presenting these findings is a multi-step process. An example of this is difficulty noticing whether people are bored or not listening in conversations. Persistent difficulty in communicating with, and relating to, other people. Their conversations have to be generally one-sided.
There has to be reduced sharing of interests and a lack of emotional give-and-take. Superficial social contact, niceties, passing time with others are of little interest. Little or too much detail is included in conversation, and there is difficulty in recognizing when the listener is interested or bored.
Poor nonverbal communication, which translates into poor eye contact, unusual body language, inappropriate gestures and facial expressions.
Difficulty developing, maintaining and understanding relationships. Narrow, repetitive behaviors and interests. Signs of these characteristics as early as months of age, although the difficulties with social communication and relationships typically become apparent later in childhood. Clear evidence that these characteristics are not caused by low intelligence or broad, across-the-board delays in overall development. What happens if someone has some of these difficulties but not all?
It can eliminate the worry that a person is severely mentally ill. It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. A new, and more accurate, understanding of the person can lead to appreciation and respect for what the person is coping with. Acceptance by friends and family members is more likely. Employers are more likely to understand the ability and needs of an employee should that employee make the diagnosis known.
Accommodations can be requested and a rationale can be provided based on a known diagnosis. Having the diagnosis is a relief for many people. It provides a means of understanding why someone feels and thinks differently than others.
There can be a new sense of personal validation and optimism, of not being defective, weird or crazy. Acceptance of the diagnosis can be an important stage in the development of successful adult intimate relationships.
It also enables therapists, counselors and other professionals to provide the correct treatment options should the person seek assistance. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker.
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Yes, but the list is shorter than the list of advantages. No longer will they be able to hope to have a satisfying, intimate relationship.
Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from others with no expectation of improvement. While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture. It very well might be that some other condition is the real problem or, more likely, two or more conditions are overlapping.
Brain imaging and studies of the brain structure show similarities between the two disorders. According to Ariel, research using brain scans have shown differences between the brain structure and shape of people with AS vs. Essentially, people with AS see and experience the world differently. But they absolutely do care and experience emotions — again, just differently.
Learn more in our article on myths and facts about Asperger Syndrome.
You might think that your partner knows precisely what you need but purposely ignores it or intentionally does something to hurt you. And when you think your partner is cold and mean, you not only get upset and angry, but you also might view all of their actions and intentions negatively, Ariel says.
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It also might help you come up with creative solutions. You still might disagree with their actions and feel hurt. But you may better understand your partner and work to move forward. In the first column, describe a behavior or situation that upsets you.
In the second column, record your feelings and why you think your partner acts this way. In the third column, try to think of a different explanation for their behavior. Say you were upset recently about how your spouse handled you being sick. She left food without asking how I felt. Be specific about your needs. Many of us expect our partners to automatically know what we want. Or to know what we want after the many hints we drop. Rather than expecting your partner to naturally know what you want or hinting at it, communicate your needs as specifically and directly as possible.