Relationships (Type Combinations) — The Enneagram Institute
Both types are openly emotional and sensitive to the needs of the other. Both are looking for adequate mirroring and in a double Four relationship, they have a. 4. THE INDIVIDUALIST Enneagram Type Four. The Sensitive, Introspective Type: . I have had a trail of relationship disasters. I have hated my Level 2: Self- aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. 1 | Page. Enneagram Love Relationships. Contents. Type 1. . 2 | Page. Type 1: The Reformer/Perfectionist. Double Ones: This couple can strive . I would imagine in a couple relationship between a Two and a Four that this would be a very.
Relationship Type 4 with Type 4 — The Enneagram Institute
Both want special handling—and insist on having special needs and they can resent the other for demanding the same for themselves. Both long for an ideal mate—and the feeling that one has found it—can alternate with depression and other reactions when expectations are disappointed.
They can get into "Who's more damaged? Both are more or less secretly looking for a rescuer and can get lost in a morass of emotional drama even if they find one.
For all of their potential sensitivity, Fours also tend to withdraw from others and to withhold their attention and affection when they are having a conflict with someone.
Fours have a profound lack of trust in others, and this lack of trust can extend even to their intimate partner. A period of testing will invariably happen that may be too much for the other Four to bear. They can be annoyed by the other's quirks and "sensitivities" and unacknowledged demands. They can be intolerant of the other, making each other walk on eggshells, ironically making it difficult to bring up certain issues with the other.
Double Fours can become moody and incommunicative, passive-aggressive, and disdainful, actually hating the very person they may have been so passionately in love with. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious.
Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living.
They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. That they have no identity or personal significance Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance to create an identity Enneagram Four with a Three-Wing: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer.
However, when moving in their Direction of Integration growthenvious, emotionally turbulent Fours become more objective and principled, like healthy Ones.
Learn more about the arrows. Fours feel that they are unlike other human beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately. They often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing special, one-of-a-kind gifts, but also as uniquely disadvantaged or flawed.
More than any other type, Fours are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies.
Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a quiet strength.
Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types. Is it will power? Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image—their personality or ego-structure itself.
They feel that they lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel comfortable with. While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone.
They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings.
If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, Fours begin to build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are. The outsider therefore comforts herself by becoming an insistent individualist: They see their own craziness and their own falseness and they do not try to varnish the truth of their quirks from themselves or from the Two.
Fours also bring a sense of beauty and of subtlety into the relationship: Fours also bring emotional depth and sensitivity to their relationships, a sense of mystery and unpredictability, sensuality and sexual freedom.
Relationship Type 2 with Type 4 — The Enneagram Institute
In short, Fours invite Twos to take a closer look at their deeper needs, the truth of who they are and what they actually feel. Twos appreciate the subtleties and nuances that Fours bring, and Fours thrive in this atmosphere of appreciation. They can lighten up each other with unexpected humor and appreciation of each others' quirks. Each invites the other to mature emotionally, usually without saying so. Both help the other to stop being so concerned about what others think of them and to become more inner-directed.
Surprisingly, this pairing is rare in intimate relationships. One would think that they would be a natural fit with each other: